Student Lani Kirkman is donating proceeds of her debut poetry book to City Hospice, Cardiff’s local hospice.
‘5,405 Days’ takes its title from the number of days Lani shared with her dad Lee and is a collection of 27 poems about the five stages of grief as seen through the eyes of a teenage girl. In the book, Lani describes her emotions as she progressed through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance following the loss of her dad in 2023.
Lani’s dad Lee, whose passions ranged from his work as an experienced gas engineer to supporting his favourite football team Manchester United, was a loving father and husband with a cheeky sense of humour. He was sadly diagnosed with a glioblastoma brain tumour in 2022 following a seizure during the Easter bank holiday weekend. Prior to his illness, Lee had experienced no symptoms or signs that anything was amiss.
Lee was transferred to City Hospice’s care in September 2023 for his final months, receiving specialist palliative care and counselling. Lani, aged 14 at the time, and her mum Lucy also received counselling support from the charity.
Lani’s poetry book is the latest show of support for City Hospice by Lani, having previously taken part in the charity’s Sparkle Walk, Light up a Life and Forever Flowers.
Lani said: “I wanted to write this poetry book in memory of my wonderful dad to raise awareness about what I’ve been through over the last few years. I carry my dad in my words; every page reflects what he means to me. People don’t necessarily like talking about feelings, so by writing my emotions down I hope I can allow others to relate to how I was feeling and know that their experiences of loss are also valid.
“As a teenager, grief has been a challenging space to navigate, and it has shaped who I have become today. Some of the proceeds of ‘5,405 Days’ will be going towards City Hospice for the care and counselling that they provided for myself and my family at such a difficult time.”
Lani’s mum Lucy Kirkman said: “It’s not always easy expressing your own grief but to be able to put those feelings down onto paper is an amazing achievement. From being incredibly brave and standing by Lee’s side during his illness to transforming her grief into something positive to help City Hospice continue the important work they do, I’m so proud of Lani.”
Dr Liz Booyse, Chief Executive at City Hospice, said: “It takes great courage to open up, particularly on difficult, and sometimes taboo, subjects like bereavement and grief. Lani’s beautiful poems are honest and brave, and share the emotional complexity of the loss of a loved one. We really appreciate Lani choosing to turn her grief into something so meaningful, helping others in a similar situation to relate and helping us to continue providing vital care for families across Cardiff by donating some of the proceeds of the book.”
‘5,405 Days’ by Lani Kirkman is available to purchase now for £10. A donation of £3.50 from each copy sold will be given to City Hospice. Visit https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/AGDBMBEZDKPTW for further information.
Excerpt from ‘5,405 Days’ by Lani Kirkman
Peace – Finally Fly
Mind at ease, I can finally fly.
You’re still in my mind, I regularly cry.
Your voice is a whisper that won’t say goodbye.
I search for your face in the folds of the sky.
Up in the clouds, yet I feel you nearby.
A soft kind of peace, like a breath or a sign.
I speak to the night, though it gives no reply.
But sometimes I swear I can feel your soul lie.
